It's been a while.

Hello to all you sexy women who read my blog and lust over the thought of ever getting a chance to know me. All 3 of you are very important to me. I haven't blogged in a while, and for this travesty, I am sorry. However, who are to think you are deserving of my words anyways? I've blessed you with so much already. Don't get greedy.

Some changes in my life...

1. I've decided to grow a mustache. The length of time that this will be gracing America is still yet to be determined. A few things...

a. Is this a tribute to Dale (RIP)? In part, hell yes.

b. Yes, I understand that my eyebrows are twice as thick and dark as the 'stache, but I'm working on it

B. I am self-proclaiming myself as the best facebook stalker around. Who else do you know can find a cute girl from a Chick-Fil-A opening when all you have to go on is a UCF sweatshirt and a first name?

iii. I am addicted to chatroulette. If you don't know what that is, I'm sorry that you've been leading an extremely boring life for the past month while this new internet rave has been taking over. It finally gives me the opportunity to live out my dreams of being an internet celebrity. (well kinda)

Some constants in my life...

U. Until the day I die, I will still love America. No I'm not a racist, but I do have a NIMBY rule: If you don't like this country, then get out. But that comment is sort of a catch-22. Do you like the ability to be able to just leave anytime you want? Hmm. . . seems like the US government is doing more for you than you are wanting to admit. Do you even appreciate the right to voice your opinion about the fact that you for some reason don't like America? Hmm, America speaks to you via me when I say, you're welcome.

S. Simplicity. I have been learning to live a simple life. What does this mean and how can you make strides to a more simple life? Here are some simple examples from my life...

1. Don't mix your drinks. "While Coke and Rum may be yum, Whiskey straight is simple and great." Remember that.

2. You don't like something, don't do it. Seems simple enough, right? However, I am finding that most people will sacrifice happiness just to live up to some sort of image that society is trying to place them in. For example, I don't want to wear clothes to school anymore, but for some reason law enforcement officials want me to adhere to their views of proper image. But I'm just trying to live in the image that God created us all. Forget the fig leaf Eve and let's get this party started.

A. Awesome. Yes, contrary to what you may be forcing yourself to believe, I am still awesome. That is all.

Well, I hope this blog has allowed you, the readers, to have more insight to life and mind of Ryan America Berner. Until next time. . .

3 in the heart,

3 in the sky,

give it up for Dale,

because he's a hell of guy

Long Live America.