This American Day- December 8th

December 8th. This day holds a special place in the American music realm. On this day in 1980, Rock legend John Lennon was tragically shot to death in New York City. Also taking place on this day in 1995, Grateful Dead announced they were breaking up after the death of Jerry Garcia. These can't be a coincidence.

How is the death of a Beatle relevant to America? Well, visit your local Dunkin' Donuts and you'll know. Almost every other song played is a Beatles song. America runs on Dunkin'. Dunkin' runs on the Beatles. So through the transitive property, America runs on the Beatles. It's simple arithmetic. As for the son of a bitch that shot Lennon. You have some fucking nerve. I realize that you probably could have pleaded insanity and probably would have won, but I am proud of you for sticking up and taking your punishment like a man. He has appealed for parole and has been denied five times. Ironic, because that's how many shots he took at the late Lennon. Karma's a bitch and she's staying at Mark Chapman's house tonight. She'll leave you feeling satisfied with a new case of the warts. Enjoy!

And who couldn't deny the influence that Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead had on America. If it wasn't for them, our parents wouldn't have any good stories to tell us about how they made mistakes and how we should learn from them. These guys were a bunch of hippies, smoking ganja, drinking beer, playing music, and probably having intercourse with more women (and possible men) than you could imagine. Sounds like the American dream to me, does it not? When the pilgrims migrated here and they took the first step onto plymouth rock, they were just looking to hook up with all the fine Native American bitches. And thats what Thanksgiving is all about come to think about it. Some Pilgrims showing their Wishbone's to some dark-skinned women who couldn't help but beg for stuffing. The guys obliged, and everyone ended up covered in gravy.

To risque for you?

Long Live America